Legal Lunatic Gifts

'I robbed the bank because a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.'

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

Emily Dickinson Rebooted

'Yeah, my dad used to howl at the Moon before, but now he struggles to stay awake past sundown...'

Disorder in the Court!

'Houston, we have a problem. We're going to need a bigger toothbrush.'

'Well yes, we lost, but you asked me if I was a Legal Eagle, not if I was a good lawyer...'

'Don't worry, you're a politician. You'll have no trouble pleading insanity.'

An astronaut finds a dehydrated man on the desert of the moon.

"But aside from the lycanthropy, things have been pretty O.K."

Customer complains about an asteroid in his food.

'He's been driven mad by reading about all these huge litigation cases...'

'Hello, Ground Control? Yes, there is life on Jupiter, although not quite the kind we had expected.'

'Who do you think you're kidding? -- Guns don't have power surges!'

"We wuz robed!"

'Lost the keys?! You IDIOT!...'

'Overruled. Now answer the question. We could all use a good laugh.'

Police Academy - Remedial Reading of Rights

'Your Honor, do we need the jury judging my performance?'

"O.K., O.K., I took over his company, I stole his wife and I ate him, now can I go?"

"You say you have a medical malpractice case?"

R. H. Gross - Criminal Law

"I always chuckle over how truthful a witness becomes when I drag out my ol' crystal ball."

'I told you we should have testified SOMETHING but the truth!'

"I find in favour of Aggie's Day Care. Defendant is ordered to sit in the corner for one hour."

'Sir your lawyer is here.'

Designated Smoking Area

'Typical!'

Attorney and client, fortitude and impatience

Law Groupies

The real crime here is the way my client has been hounded by the vice squad for years. I know I've been victimized by them and I'm sure you have too, your honor. ! !

"Your first perp walk, Your Honor?"

NOTICE: Rapid, downward movements prohibited by law.

"It's finally happened. They've sued the pants off me!"