Legal Innovation Enthusiast Gifts

"If things go well here, I'm going to open up my own firm."

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

Valuable business advice from some famous disruptive technologies.

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

"So, what does everyone think of XX81's suggestion for increased funding into AI research?"

"My mom programmed my toothbrush to follow me until I use it. It's cruel but effective."

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

"We've also been given ten top employment law tips."

'I think I'll become a lawyer.'

"Before we begin, I'd like to say that in thirty years as an attorney, I've never encountered a more interesting departure from the standard last will and testament."

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

Violent Crime Statistics

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

Ian McWit, Attorney at Law, Body by Joe's Gym, Mind by Harvard.

Lady Justice.

'I thought he was joking. I didn't think my husband would really turn me in to the FDA!'

"Honestly, I have no idea what a 'habeas corpus' is."

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

'Hello. My father is an attorney. This is how I allegedly spent my summer vacation.'

'And your class story is an old, old one. In the middle of successful soul-snatching careers you were suddenly bitten by the lawyering bug...'

"I don't know if they do or not. . . I've never opened it."

"... and I would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for you meddling forensic pathologists."

'If crime doesn't pay, how come there're so many criminal lawyers?'

"Impartiality becomes you."

'You were convicted by the jury, but at least you were acquitted by the media.'

'I'm suing my way alphabetically through the phone book.'

'...In an attempt to speed up our backlog of cases we've computerized the scales of justice.'

Baby's first words.

"We, the jury, award the plaintiffs 100 trillion dollars - just because."

'When London Bridge fell down, how much was the contractor sued for?'

"To be honest, I'm not sure if you marking your territory is legally binding in a boundary claim dispute."

"Overruled."