Legal Games Gifts

"Let's play David and Goliath. You'll be David and I'll be the ACLU."

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.

"In the event of an actual S.E.C. investigation, legal representation will drop from the ceiling."

"You moved two spaced and then one space to the side? Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, that sure sounds illegal."

"Bailiff."

Planet of the Lawyers

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

'Who says justice has to be the only thing on tap?'

'This could be me and you, your honor. Heading for Las Vegas!'

Words that can result in employee litigation box.

"They're class action figures."

The Birth of a Lawsuit

"According to his will, he wants his outstanding debts to be shared equally between the three of you."

"Well, we can try. But to be honest, I doubt that you'll get custody of your husband's credit cards."

'If crime doesn't pay, how come there're so many criminal lawyers?'

"Jughead, Reggie, Betty, and Veronica—they've all been locked up. But you, Archie—I had higher hopes for you."

"... and I would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for you meddling forensic pathologists."

'It's all just an unfortunate misunderstanding, Your Honor, it was 'Talk Like a Pirate' day, and,,,,'

"My wife's lawyer doesn't understand me."

"As your attorney, I must strongly advise you against bringing the high heat."

"It's my attorney. Have you seen my list of things about you that drive me crazy?"

Upholding the Law

"You can lie to the prosecutor but don't ever lie to your co-conspirators."

"My agent."

Attorney and killer bee.

"I don't think you have a case. It's only slander if it's not true, and I've heard you play."

'Slap me and I'll see you in court.'

"We can't put you in a Witness-Protection Program unless you actually witnessed something."

"Love is grand... divorce is a hundred grand."

"In a surprising turn of events, the end testifies against the means."

'Well yes, we lost, but you asked me if I was a Legal Eagle, not if I was a good lawyer...'

"I wish I had done more pro bono work. I need the tax write offs."

Lawyers Ridin' The Range: 'Happy trials to you, until we meet again!'

"He said his first word today - compensation."

'If you dislike the term divorce that much, then just think of it as downsizing the time you spend together.'