Legal Document Enthusiast Gifts

'So much for the will! Now, before you start celebrating, I suggest you think about inheritance taxes, because, according to my calculations, you will be left with. . ."

Lawyer to lady: 'Since I specialize in eye injuries, I've eliminated all the fine print.'

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

Ruth Bader Ginsburg - Forever Supreme

"We've also been given ten top employment law tips."

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned subsidy of you and Mom?'

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'

"Before we begin, I'd like to say that in thirty years as an attorney, I've never encountered a more interesting departure from the standard last will and testament."

The Devil's in the detail!

"The arms reduction talks are off to a good start -so far, we've agreed to ban pebbles."

Violent Crime Statistics

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

Ian McWit, Attorney at Law, Body by Joe's Gym, Mind by Harvard.

'You got a search warrant, sheriff?'

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

Lady Justice.

"I like your thinking Steve. Hiding the contract loopholes under the staples is brilliant."

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

Lady Justice wears a blindfold, but listens through headphones to a tape recorder on one of her scales.

'Remember - do not try to plant the seeds from these apples. They're intellectual property, and they're copyrighted.'

'I thought he was joking. I didn't think my husband would really turn me in to the FDA!'

It Looks Like Trumpty Dumpty Got His Wall After All.

"Impartiality becomes you."

'You were convicted by the jury, but at least you were acquitted by the media.'

"I was caught and released. But according to news reports, I remain a fish of interest."

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

'And your class story is an old, old one. In the middle of successful soul-snatching careers you were suddenly bitten by the lawyering bug...'

'Hello. My father is an attorney. This is how I allegedly spent my summer vacation.'