Legal Document Aficionado Gifts

'New Years Resolutions, paragraph 45, clause iv in which we will attempt to clarify the term 'butter buttocks'.'

IN box...OUT is wastepaper basket on fire.

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

Ruth Bader Ginsburg - Forever Supreme

I'm accused of kicking you in the womb, but your evidence is purely circumstantial. Lawyer baby.

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

"Does anyone know where we keep the unwritten rules?"

"We've also been given ten top employment law tips."

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

"The arms reduction talks are off to a good start -so far, we've agreed to ban pebbles."

Violent Crime Statistics

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

Lady Justice.

Musuem. Galileo did an experiment by dropping cannonballs from the Tower of Pisa. I wonder what he discovered? Personal injury lawsuits!

'You got a search warrant, sheriff?'

Ian McWit, Attorney at Law, Body by Joe's Gym, Mind by Harvard.

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

"I like your thinking Steve. Hiding the contract loopholes under the staples is brilliant."

Lady Justice wears a blindfold, but listens through headphones to a tape recorder on one of her scales.

'Remember - do not try to plant the seeds from these apples. They're intellectual property, and they're copyrighted.'

'I thought he was joking. I didn't think my husband would really turn me in to the FDA!'

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, my client blah blah...."

They Are Not Going to Take Me

Human Resources Dept: Full time/part time/over time/time and a half/time out.

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

"I was caught and released. But according to news reports, I remain a fish of interest."

"Haven't you ever heard of the first amendment?"

It Looks Like Trumpty Dumpty Got His Wall After All.

"Apparently, you have very little respect for our judicial system, sauntering in here with only one lawyer."

Baby's first words.