The Paperwork Aficionado Gifts

'Here is the lead-based paint information, Fair Housing criteria, laws regarding tobacco use outdoors slip-and-fall warning, and barring any further public hysteria, the lease itself.'

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

IN box...OUT is wastepaper basket on fire.

'We're holding our own, but I'd really like to see some growth.'

'It's only fair to warn you that if you get the job there would be a lot of filing involved.'

In - Out - Pending.

Research and Development: Now, Never.

InIn by-products.

Downward arrow on progress chart goes through the floor: 'OK, I know this doesn't look good ...'

Corporate Whore.

"Who's the idiot who filed Phil under F?"

Female business.

Desk shaped like an office block.

Human Resources Dept: Full time/part time/over time/time and a half/time out.

'Wow, my own desk!'

'He was always too busy to sit for his portrait.'

I've refiled all your letters under L.

In one ear/Out the other.

Dive in Archive.

'I got confused by the news system so filed everything under 'M' for miscellaneous!'

'She files things on a biblical basis. Seek and ye shall find.'

"As a cub I got fed up with circus life, so I took a job in the mail room."

'Sub lease' and 'Executive suite' putting money into a smug piggy bank

IN, OUT, NOT WORTH THE EFFORT.

'Corporate Sydney'

'I can't remember the title,but it was on a little white piece of paper.'

Files.

'So much for the will! Now, before you start celebrating, I suggest you think about inheritance taxes, because, according to my calculations, you will be left with. . ."

Document Filing in the Post-Literate Era.

'Ms. Grimmett, I sort of liked the old filing system...in the file cabinets.'

File room: A subsidiary of the black hole of the universe

First-Customer-Earned