Government Paperwork Enthusiasts Gifts

'I want to claim for black marker pens.'

'Do you remember the good old days when April 15 was the only 'fiscal cliff' people worried about?'

'We can't cut entitlements for federal employees. We're federal employees.'

"So from the top. If they need urgent help it's form AC/765c, criticl interventions are CV/U657's and..."

Painter removes 'wet paint' sign from park bench and replaces it with a 'dry paint' sign.

"Ah, you'll be wanting our red tape department, third door on the left!"

'Daddy! There's a Politician in my closet!'

Industrial Injuries Benefit.

MI5 Press Office

Real Congressional reform's a must.....

Liberties: civil and uncivil.

'She files things on a biblical basis. Seek and ye shall find.'

'So much for the will! Now, before you start celebrating, I suggest you think about inheritance taxes, because, according to my calculations, you will be left with. . ."

'The dept. of agriculture says yes, the environmental protection agency says maybe, and the food and drug administration says no.'

Director: US Space Research.

CONGRESS, 'Okay, so you've been censured -- you've got to get right back in there and start legislating before you lose your nerve!'

'New Years Resolutions, paragraph 45, clause iv in which we will attempt to clarify the term 'butter buttocks'.'

"Remember, report itemized deductions on Schedule A on your federal form 1040."

Auditor General.

'This won't take long, Senator -- I'm a single-issue nut.'

"Now, there are just a few more forms for you to sign, and then we're done!"

'On behalf of our cabin crew who have voted in favour of strike action over Christmas. . . kindly fill out this form. Please send us your questions and comments about how the strike has effected your plans, ruined your holiday. . .'

Most egregious misuse of Commons speaking time.

Washington Monuments

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single travel requisition."

Lawyer to lady: 'Since I specialize in eye injuries, I've eliminated all the fine print.'

Investigate Committee On Why There Are So Many Investigative Committees.

'Mr. Speaker! Mr. Speaker! Mr. Speaker. . . He didn't show up for work today.'

"Y formerly Department of Government Efficiency"

'It's interesting that your great-grandparents came over from Ireland in 1887, but you still don't qualify for foreign aid.'

'The next disciplinary committee might not be so lenient.'

"Politics is the art of nothing is possible."

'Here is the lead-based paint information, Fair Housing criteria, laws regarding tobacco use outdoors slip-and-fall warning, and barring any further public hysteria, the lease itself.'