Government Paperwork Enthusiasts Gifts

"Honest Abe, huh? Your tax returns tell a different story."

'I want to claim for black marker pens.'

'Do you remember the good old days when April 15 was the only 'fiscal cliff' people worried about?'

'We can't cut entitlements for federal employees. We're federal employees.'

Painter removes 'wet paint' sign from park bench and replaces it with a 'dry paint' sign.

"So from the top. If they need urgent help it's form AC/765c, criticl interventions are CV/U657's and..."

"Ah, you'll be wanting our red tape department, third door on the left!"

'Daddy! There's a Politician in my closet!'

'She files things on a biblical basis. Seek and ye shall find.'

Real Congressional reform's a must.....

Industrial Injuries Benefit.

Liberties: civil and uncivil.

MI5 Press Office

'The dept. of agriculture says yes, the environmental protection agency says maybe, and the food and drug administration says no.'

'So much for the will! Now, before you start celebrating, I suggest you think about inheritance taxes, because, according to my calculations, you will be left with. . ."

Director: US Space Research.

"Remember, report itemized deductions on Schedule A on your federal form 1040."

'New Years Resolutions, paragraph 45, clause iv in which we will attempt to clarify the term 'butter buttocks'.'

CONGRESS, 'Okay, so you've been censured -- you've got to get right back in there and start legislating before you lose your nerve!'

'This won't take long, Senator -- I'm a single-issue nut.'

Auditor General.

'We've uncovered your birth certificate,'

"Now, there are just a few more forms for you to sign, and then we're done!"

Lawyer to lady: 'Since I specialize in eye injuries, I've eliminated all the fine print.'

Investigate Committee On Why There Are So Many Investigative Committees.

'On behalf of our cabin crew who have voted in favour of strike action over Christmas. . . kindly fill out this form. Please send us your questions and comments about how the strike has effected your plans, ruined your holiday. . .'

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single travel requisition."

Most egregious misuse of Commons speaking time.

'It's interesting that your great-grandparents came over from Ireland in 1887, but you still don't qualify for foreign aid.'

'Mr. Speaker! Mr. Speaker! Mr. Speaker. . . He didn't show up for work today.'

"Y formerly Department of Government Efficiency"

Washington Monuments

'The next disciplinary committee might not be so lenient.'

"Politics is the art of nothing is possible."

'Here is the lead-based paint information, Fair Housing criteria, laws regarding tobacco use outdoors slip-and-fall warning, and barring any further public hysteria, the lease itself.'