Legal Decisions Gifts

Judge's desk boxes: 'Decisions...landmark decisions.

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

'The toughest things you have to deal with in this job, is feelings and lawyers.'

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.

Barristers

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

'The sole reason I haven't talked to my wife for five years, is that I was too polite to interrupt her...'

Wal-Mart Ruling

"Bailiff."

'This prediction has a margin of error of plus or minus fifteen...fifteen class-action suits brought against the company.'

"Bob & Sue 2011" "Sued Bob 2011"

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

"When I said, 'I want you to sleep on it'. I menat when you go home tonight."

Lawyer to bad hair lady: 'It's difficult to establish pain and suffering based on a bad hair day.'

"The doctor is in court on Tuesdays and Wednesdays."

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

"Well, heck! If all you smart cookies agree, who am I to dissent?"

'This could be me and you, your honor. Heading for Las Vegas!'

'Do you Duane, paternity suit notwithstanding, take Diane...'

India Decriminalizes Homosexuality

Justice 4 Ron

'Your mom is probably watching. Go for the jugular.'

The Birth of a Lawsuit

"They're class action figures."

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

"Does it hurt when my attorney does this?"

'Sometimes I wish I had never sold my camels!'

'Let's see what the employment tribunal has to say about that, shall we?'

'Is that guy back again? Hey, if you find that sponge I lost, give a shout.'

Does "worldly goods" include intellectual property?

"Is that legal? Can the old man force me to take a performance-enhancing drug."

Jurors saying 'I'm on the jury' on their mobiles.

"He says: If they're smart enough to hire a top lawyer and sue us for having wet floors then they're smart enough to look where they're *%&$* going..."

'That's nothing...I've been told my wig takes fifteen years off me.'