Legal Aide Gifts

''Answer yes or no'? -- Boy, have you got a lot to learn!'

Trial by Media

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

'If corporate lawyers are a dime a dozen, where are the other ten?'

"If you really want independence, you should get into contract law."

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

"Amen. . . void where prohibited by law."

"In the event of an actual S.E.C. investigation, legal representation will drop from the ceiling."

I love Lawyers

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

'It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...'

"In case something happens during the surgery and you become incapacitated, have you designated someone to make poor life choices on your behalf?"

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

What do you mean, "Did I try anything funny?"

"We-your agents, successors, licensees, and assigns--would like to share a few thoughts with you."

'Did you clear this through Legal first?'

"We'd better watch Cranston. He looks like a whistleblower."

"That's a Hula Hoop. I asked you to find a loophole."

"How come you always take Amnesty International's side?"

'I think I'll become a lawyer.'

"We've also been given ten top employment law tips."

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

"Who wrote this "Law of the Jungle" nonsense? It is highly biased in favour of predators!"

Lady Justice and Confidential Files

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

'This prediction has a margin of error of plus or minus fifteen...fifteen class-action suits brought against the company.'

'And after I'm through, our staff attorney will drop by to assist you with all the pre-nuptial agreement documents!'

"Do you have a good attorney or a bad attorney?"

"Have you, or any of your acquaintances, ever been described as 'frolicsome'?"

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

"We make crime pay."

"Never mind Benjamin – he just lawyers-up to get attention."