Legal Aide Pillows

''Answer yes or no'? -- Boy, have you got a lot to learn!'

Trial by Media

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

'If corporate lawyers are a dime a dozen, where are the other ten?'

"If you really want independence, you should get into contract law."

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

"Amen. . . void where prohibited by law."

"In the event of an actual S.E.C. investigation, legal representation will drop from the ceiling."

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

I love Lawyers

'It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...'

What do you mean, "Did I try anything funny?"

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"In case something happens during the surgery and you become incapacitated, have you designated someone to make poor life choices on your behalf?"

"We-your agents, successors, licensees, and assigns--would like to share a few thoughts with you."

"We'd better watch Cranston. He looks like a whistleblower."

"That's a Hula Hoop. I asked you to find a loophole."

'Did you clear this through Legal first?'

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten!

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

"We've also been given ten top employment law tips."

Lady Justice and Confidential Files

'I think I'll become a lawyer.'

"Who wrote this "Law of the Jungle" nonsense? It is highly biased in favour of predators!"

"How come you always take Amnesty International's side?"

'This prediction has a margin of error of plus or minus fifteen...fifteen class-action suits brought against the company.'

'And after I'm through, our staff attorney will drop by to assist you with all the pre-nuptial agreement documents!'

"Do you have a good attorney or a bad attorney?"

Studied the Constitution. Didn't like it.

"Have you, or any of your acquaintances, ever been described as 'frolicsome'?"

"Never mind Benjamin – he just lawyers-up to get attention."