Legal Associate Pillows

'One more 'howdy pardner' and you're back to being an associate.'

'We deliver all the justice you can afford.'

'Thank you for calling Bemis and Associates...your call is not important to us because we've gone bankrupt.'

Trial by Media

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

'If corporate lawyers are a dime a dozen, where are the other ten?'

"Amen. . . void where prohibited by law."

"If you really want independence, you should get into contract law."

'So Captain Ahab, I put it to you that you were deliberately stalking my client!'

"In the event of an actual S.E.C. investigation, legal representation will drop from the ceiling."

I love Lawyers

Cat and dog at a will reading.

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

"Hey, I just figured out how to sue the school for loss of my prime childbearing years."

What do you mean, "Did I try anything funny?"

'It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...'

"In case something happens during the surgery and you become incapacitated, have you designated someone to make poor life choices on your behalf?"

Barristers

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

"We-your agents, successors, licensees, and assigns--would like to share a few thoughts with you."

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

"We'd better watch Cranston. He looks like a whistleblower."

'Did you clear this through Legal first?'

"You're 5 years old now, Timmy. It's about time you retain an attorney."

"That's a Hula Hoop. I asked you to find a loophole."

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

Lady Justice and Confidential Files

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten!