Legal Aid Attorney Gifts

"I'm only doing this job because I feel sorry for my legal aid lawyer."

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

"Well if I can't be a cowboy I'll be a lawyer for cowboys."

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

'If corporate lawyers are a dime a dozen, where are the other ten?'

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

"If you really want independence, you should get into contract law."

'There they go - off on their own - and a finer bunch of fledgelings one couldn't ask.'

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

"In the event of an actual S.E.C. investigation, legal representation will drop from the ceiling."

'Hello, Acme signs? This is the Berger & Coles Law Office...'

Cat and dog at a will reading.

I love Lawyers

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

'It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...'

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"After I graduate middle school, high school and college, I'll go to law school to get you out of this. But I want my retainer now."

"In case something happens during the surgery and you become incapacitated, have you designated someone to make poor life choices on your behalf?"

"Hey, I'm just playing devil's avocado!"

What do you mean, "Did I try anything funny?"

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."