Legal Aid Attorney Gifts

"I'm only doing this job because I feel sorry for my legal aid lawyer."

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

"Do you want to pretend to be a doctor and I'll pretend to be a hotshot civil litigation attorney who sues you till your ears bleed?"

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

"Well if I can't be a cowboy I'll be a lawyer for cowboys."

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

'If corporate lawyers are a dime a dozen, where are the other ten?'

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

"If you really want independence, you should get into contract law."

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

'There they go - off on their own - and a finer bunch of fledgelings one couldn't ask.'

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

"In the event of an actual S.E.C. investigation, legal representation will drop from the ceiling."

'Hello, Acme signs? This is the Berger & Coles Law Office...'

Cat and dog at a will reading.

I love Lawyers

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

'It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...'

"After I graduate middle school, high school and college, I'll go to law school to get you out of this. But I want my retainer now."

I'm accused of kicking you in the womb, but your evidence is purely circumstantial. Lawyer baby.

"Hey, I'm just playing devil's avocado!"

"In case something happens during the surgery and you become incapacitated, have you designated someone to make poor life choices on your behalf?"

What do you mean, "Did I try anything funny?"

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."