Leash Juggler Gifts

"I'm running late for totally dignified reasons."

'Technically, he's on a leash, so I say we let this one go.'

'Just taking the dog for a walk, Dear.'

A child and his dog

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

Jumping Dogs

Confused drivers

"We keep revisiting this leash thing... Why is it so difficult for him?"

"History test? But I studied all night for a math test!"

'You don't mind distractions as much as me, so I didn't think you'd mind if my kids played in your office today.'

'I understand yours is a highly coveted position in this company.'

'Your mother and I are worried that all these video games may be having an effect on you.'

"I have to get this project finished."

'I know my electric bills are way over due, but could you at least wait until the Super Bowl is over before turning off my electricity?'

'Mac, when are we going to get the pickup truck fixed?'

"You want my undivided attention? I don't think it exists."

"She's cute, but she's eroding my power base."

Incompetent gardeners cause havoc

Excess Baggage: The concept of electronic ticketing still has a few airline passengers spooked.

"I'll be walking by your door in a second if you want to try to get my attention."

Moving and Storage: "Did they say moving?"

The Dog

'Yo Bitch' - 'Nice Ass'

"I think we're supposed to connect the positive wire here and the negative wire there. But I can't."

'Oh great. It's Western and I use an English saddle.'

Stew considers getting a shorter leash for Spot.

'We didn't expect you this early!'

"Try switching hands when you walk the dog!"

"Can you come outside and help me. It appears Fido and I have tied the knot... "

"I've got to figure out how to get paid for work dreams."

'Who said you can't teach an old dog new tricks?'

Chiropractor

"I couldn't find the problem so I've relabelled it instead."

'No Tarquin! No!'

'Maybe you should let the wine you packed go to waste. That's the bag with our laundry.'