Leafy Green Gourmet Gifts

"Hi! I'm here for Bob the Vegan."

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

'Congratulations on your 100% plant-based diet. I'm referring you to a botanist.'

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

'I'm worried about him, he eats his vegetables, but not his dessert!'

"At first glance this diet might seem boring but then you realize there are actually seven varieties of kale!"

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

"Grass...Grass and more damn grass... What I wouldn't give for a lightly poached Dover sole with a garlic infused tarragon sauce."

"This is locally grown and good for the environment, but it may give you greenhouse gas."

"Vegetables, vegetables, vegetables, welcome to my dystopian world!"

Veggie Hall of Fame.

"I hope you don't mind leftovers."

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

"All our donuts are hand fried in what will eventually become biofuel."

Stuffing the turkey.

Chef picking salad leaves from a hanging basket outside his restaurant.

'I'm writing a vegetarian cook book.'

"I didn't realize there was so many different kinds of vegetables!"

"You can tell when people don't have pets, because they start to look like their plants."

Supermarket: Leafs, Rail Leafs

Vegetarian Restaurant: Choose Your Own Cabbage

" 'Unlimited salad bar' sounded better on the menu."

'Haven't you ever heard of warmed up turkey?'

"...and, for those parishioners who insist on a Eucharist made with all organic, locally-sourced ingredients, see Father Maguire at aisle three."

"I didn't know they could make so many entrees with vegetables!"

"I'm getting subtle hints of chlorophyll."

Vet to angry-looking dog: 'You ate some crabgrass, eh? Were you self-medicating again?'

'Could I have the traditional Christmas dinner but without meat or dairy and could guarantee it's organic and GM free.'

'Eat your lettuce. It'll put colour back in your cheeks.'

'Are you sure you washed this salad?'

"I certainly hope you're composting the leftovers."

'Mom always told us to eat the greens!'

Man eating his meal with his feet.

Okay, let me guess...we're eating baked ham and meat loaf on a bed of fish sticks because you combined all the leftovers...