Lazy Day Joker Gifts

"You know I'd help if it weren't for my bum knee."

'Speaking of ground sloths.'

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

"It's an update from the people tracking us. According to this, we haven't gone anywhere or done anything."

"I've no idea. Maybe it's the slumber channel."

"Well, the remote's not dowmn the back of the couch."

Wordplay: Hibernation.

Lazy Octopus

American Idle.

"How long is it since you took Benji for a walk?"

"Me, as soon as I'm old enough, I'm out of here! I'll go and join my older brother: he's a beach bum in San Diego, California..."

Cat and mouse

Bill and Lester have a 'Hay Day'.

"Right now Arnold Schwarzenegger is doing sit-ups."

'well, Fred, I see you're finally embracing technology.'

Catatonic

'Some dogs are meant to be working dogs and some aren't.'

To be honest, I'd just as soon as lay in the yard, but he so looks forward to it.

A Golden Non-Retriever

"I'm thinking of starting my own range of 'inactive' wear."

"Such a refreshing day...I've spent 18 hours between napping and comatose."

'Fixed the leg on the telly yet?'

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

'Just look at him. The face that lunched on a thousand chips.'

'Okay. Time to get up. 1... 2... 3... Go!' - 'Actually, maybe I'll just rest my eyes for a few seconds.' - 'Zzzzz...'

'Football...Beer...Popcorn...that is Bernie's Stimulus Package.'

"I've had a lot of exercise today! I jumped to several conclusions, ran my mouth on the phone, and I just cycled through 500 cable channels!"

Cat puts off paying gas bill, to sleep longer...

'I've never known a dog who gets tired so quickly.'

"He's an indoor cat."

Gifts from the House of Low Goals.

'Honestly, dear, I'm just giving my pedometer a rest.'

'I would love to be more energetic, but there is nothing I can do: It's a genetic condition...'

'If it's a universal remote, how come it doesn't work on the refrigerator?'

'I'll set snooze for an extra month.'