Lazy Cook Pillows

"You're the only man I know who can clean a filthy cooker with two slices of bread."

LAY ZEE FUK

Soup of the month.

''Food miles' is a big issue, so I'm reducing the distance my food travels by moving my fridge into the living room.'

Homo Zapiens

'I'm in the den, mom, reading the newspaper for my social studies class.'

How lazy people decide what to eat

'But I don't want to be able to turn on the toaster with the TV remote!'

Man sitting on bank with pulling up fishing with sign from fish attached to hook: Gone fishin'.

'No, I am not finished with the comics section, now give me back my glasses!'

"Fridge-to-table"

"These are smart socks. They will crawl themselves to the clothes hamper when you throw them on the floor. Make sure they're charged before wearing them."

'I made a substitute in the recipe. Take-out.'

'I'm tired - let's outsource dinner tonight.'

"I was supposed to rinse them first? So, you're telling me somebody designed a machine to wash dishes, but we're supposed to make sure we wash the dishes before we put them in the machine?"

Sleep. The magazine for people who are asleep.

'It took months of training but now she'd rather sip a martini than fetch a ball.'

'You're so sophisticated and witty...and muscular...do you work out? Why, yes, I'd love to come back to your place.'

"Doc, I think I'm suffering from insomnia...every ten minutes the boss bursts into my office and wakes me up!"

The Sedentary Dead.

"His wife's still visiting her mother, so it looks like it's left over pizza for us...again!"

'Not only do you get out of cooking tonight, but you found a place with a lazy chef too.'

"I dropped my phone. Would you mind skiing the 20 miles back up hill to find it? I would do it, but I'm out of shape and lazy."

"Geoffrey's new year resolution was to give up self-respect."

"I just got home. Let me roost a bit."

"Believing life begins at 40, Dave decided to take it easy for the first 39."

Remote Toaster

"I'm not picky—whatever's wounded."

'..or do you think we should go with this one?'

'Its part of our new range of inactive wear.'

"You idiot! I spent all morning covering that with hairs!"

Risks for the heart patient Unloading the Dishwasher "Sorry? No can do." Answering the Land Line R-R-RING! R-R-R-RING! N-nope R-R-RING!!! Doing Taxes "Doc said I should take it easy." Any Car-Related Errand "The old ticker."

Recipes From The "I Really, REALLY Hate To Cook" Cookbook

"Ambitions... To live next door to a Chinese takeaway."

Recipes from The I-Seriously-Don't-Care Cookbook.