Lazy Cleaner Pillows

"You idiot! I spent all morning covering that with hairs!"

"My wife and I have a great system for cleaning. She avoids it on even weeks and I avoid it on odd weeks!"

LAY ZEE FUK

"I AM at my usual position."

"Milk, butter, bread - all past the expiration date. either he just hadn't noticed before, or his time machine worked."

"It's a smart hamper that sucks up clothes. My mom claims I leave my clothes on the floor, so she has it follow me wherever I go."

"He's declared it an area of natural beauty"

'Every time I turn my back, he's learned another one of your bad habits.'

Homo Zapiens

"Fetch me another Sculpin IPA."

"But mom, all you said was 'get all your stuff up off the floor!' "

"What> Fitness isn't a destination, it's a way of life."

"Fridge-to-table"

'My husband likes to have everything handy during TV commercials.'

"Shouldn't you boys be out fighting crime somewhere?" "Yeah, yeah, whatever." "I could use another beer while you're up." "I ain't goin' on no airplane!" "Anyone pay the cable bill?" The A-Hole Team

"Ed's not really into binge watching...he just can't find the remote."

"I was supposed to rinse them first? So, you're telling me somebody designed a machine to wash dishes, but we're supposed to make sure we wash the dishes before we put them in the machine?"

'I'm tired - let's outsource dinner tonight.'

Sleep. The magazine for people who are asleep.

Gone to seed.

Eventual Motion Machine

Sophisticated garden - low maintenance garden

"I might let the window box lay fallow, this season."

The Sedentary Dead.

'I hope you'll excuse the pajamas. They save time when people leave.'

"Geoffrey's new year resolution was to give up self-respect."

"We're watching your side of the room with growing fascination."

Hardware - "Where do you keep the elbow grease?"

"Honey, grab me a seal from the freezer will ya."

Mr. Clean Enough

"Now, that's my kind of gardener: somebody who grows dandelions! I love dandelions..."

"We have to face reality. Unless we invite people over, we will never muster the energy to clean the place."

Mountain Escalator

"Believing life begins at 40, Dave decided to take it easy for the first 39."