Lazy Laundry Lover Pillows

"It's a smart hamper that sucks up clothes. My mom claims I leave my clothes on the floor, so she has it follow me wherever I go."

Moses separating his Laundry.

The Missing Sock Returns

Santa Claus's wife beats the soot out of his beard.

"I AM at my usual position."

'Before you come with me, tell me...does this robe look a little rumpled to you? I don't think the dry cleaners got the creases out, do you?'

"Drunk, yet orderly"

"Looks like Harriet mixed her lights and darks again."

The wooden clothes horse of Troy.

Brad discovers what can happen when you don't wash your gym clothes...

"I feel like tearing of all your clothes and putting them in the washing machine."

Dreams I have had...

"This is your new solar powered dryer?"

'Caw blimey!'

"It's our latest scent...Dryer Sheet."

"Like you, I was lost...then I found Jesus!"

"Fetch me another Sculpin IPA."

"Wait, you never wash your cape?"

Help! (Woman stuck on washing line).

Santa's wash day.

"Damn. These must have shrunk in the wash." "I don't think so."

"Since we installed the video surveillance system we're losing fewer socks."

Fashion Update Dryer Sheets

'Whenever Mat gets a little over-confident, I tell him to try to fold a fitted bed sheet.'

'It's just full of dirty laundry but it makes me feel much more hip.'

"Yes, they come out white than white, but when they went in they were blue."

"And do you, Scott, take Amy, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, through mysterious separations of indefinite duration, as long as you both may live?"

"Why do I always gain socks in the wash?" "In a Parallel Universe"

"Did I hear you use the phrase 'Earn my keep'?"

'My husband likes to have everything handy during TV commercials.'

"You forgot to pick up the dry cleaning. It's written all over your face."

"I'm making him take a spin class."

'Sorting the laundry is hell.'

"You realize one of us is not coming back."

Heavy-duty, super-capacity, two speeds, 10 cycles. All of them vicious.