Lazy Cleaner T-Shirts

"You idiot! I spent all morning covering that with hairs!"

"My wife and I have a great system for cleaning. She avoids it on even weeks and I avoid it on odd weeks!"

LAY ZEE FUK

"I AM at my usual position."

'I can't wait 'til hunting is googling and gathering is calling out for delivery.'

"Milk, butter, bread - all past the expiration date. either he just hadn't noticed before, or his time machine worked."

"It's a smart hamper that sucks up clothes. My mom claims I leave my clothes on the floor, so she has it follow me wherever I go."

"He's declared it an area of natural beauty"

"Tragic case of having the fridge from the TV when the World Cup is showing."

'Every time I turn my back, he's learned another one of your bad habits.'

Homo Zapiens

"Fetch me another Sculpin IPA."

"But mom, all you said was 'get all your stuff up off the floor!' "

'My husband likes to have everything handy during TV commercials.'

"What> Fitness isn't a destination, it's a way of life."

"Fridge-to-table"

'I'm tired - let's outsource dinner tonight.'

"I was supposed to rinse them first? So, you're telling me somebody designed a machine to wash dishes, but we're supposed to make sure we wash the dishes before we put them in the machine?"

"Ed's not really into binge watching...he just can't find the remote."

"Shouldn't you boys be out fighting crime somewhere?" "Yeah, yeah, whatever." "I could use another beer while you're up." "I ain't goin' on no airplane!" "Anyone pay the cable bill?" The A-Hole Team

Sleep. The magazine for people who are asleep.

Gone to seed.

Eventual Motion Machine

The Sedentary Dead.

Sophisticated garden - low maintenance garden

"I might let the window box lay fallow, this season."

"We have to face reality. Unless we invite people over, we will never muster the energy to clean the place."

Mr. Clean Enough

"Now, that's my kind of gardener: somebody who grows dandelions! I love dandelions..."

"Honey, grab me a seal from the freezer will ya."

"We're watching your side of the room with growing fascination."

'I hope you'll excuse the pajamas. They save time when people leave.'

Hardware - "Where do you keep the elbow grease?"

It's just a self-cleaning oven, Ernie --- You can't do dishes in it.

"Geoffrey's new year resolution was to give up self-respect."