Lazy King Pillows

"Grab me a zebra while you're up will ya, hon?"

LAY ZEE FUK

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

"I AM at my usual position."

'I can't wait 'til hunting is googling and gathering is calling out for delivery.'

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

Homo Zapiens

Man sitting on bank with pulling up fishing with sign from fish attached to hook: Gone fishin'.

"Fetch me another Sculpin IPA."

'My husband likes to have everything handy during TV commercials.'

"Fridge-to-table"

Fetch the Boomerang

"Shouldn't you boys be out fighting crime somewhere?" "Yeah, yeah, whatever." "I could use another beer while you're up." "I ain't goin' on no airplane!" "Anyone pay the cable bill?" The A-Hole Team

'I need to do more exercising? Are you kidding?! I'm a kind of marathon runner! I run from the bed to the fridge, then to the table, back to the fridge and then to the TV, back again to the fridge and retour to the TV day by day!'

"I was supposed to rinse them first? So, you're telling me somebody designed a machine to wash dishes, but we're supposed to make sure we wash the dishes before we put them in the machine?"

'I'm tired - let's outsource dinner tonight.'

Sleep. The magazine for people who are asleep.

"Ed's not really into binge watching...he just can't find the remote."

'It took months of training but now she'd rather sip a martini than fetch a ball.'

"Think of it -- you'd never have to fold another shirt."

The Sedentary Dead.

"Doc, I think I'm suffering from insomnia...every ten minutes the boss bursts into my office and wakes me up!"

"I just got home. Let me roost a bit."

It's just a self-cleaning oven, Ernie --- You can't do dishes in it.

"Geoffrey's new year resolution was to give up self-respect."

"Believing life begins at 40, Dave decided to take it easy for the first 39."

'NEW Down hill exercise bike'

'Its part of our new range of inactive wear.'

'..or do you think we should go with this one?'

New Season on the TV / New Season on the sofa

"Hunting and gathering is too much work. Let's invent credit cards so we can charge people interest!"

"Is this a creative nap or a nap nap?"

"Why do I have to go to school? Why can't I just log onto their website when I get up?"

'Hmm...Sofa sores. This is becoming increasingly common in fat blokes.'

Recipes from The I-Seriously-Don't-Care Cookbook.