Lawn Warrior Gifts

'Steve hates getting ticks.'

'Bowls has given me the happiest days of my life.'

'Let him play thru, Harry.'

'Think of yourself as Moses, blazing trails in the wilderness.'

Human males marking territory.

'Normally, a little conflict like this would be easy to resolve.'

Postman wearing protective shin pads.

Believe it or not, I'm sitting her watching the fights. Harry versus the crabgrass, the moles, the insects...

"Instead of pumping iron, how about cutting grass?"

"If you need help, I'll be playing videos on my laptop."

City Zoo: Day Care

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

"Davina McCall: Life at the Extreme takes a celebrity to the most extreme places on Earth!"

"Think you're pretty manly, eh? OK, put the gun down and let's have a fair fight."

'In school today, we learned about endangered species.'

Don't forget the hosepipe ban!

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

Cat in a tank...

"I just assumed that the whale we adopted would stay in the ocean."

A tortoise running along the side of the road, panting.

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

Neighbor Leaf Wars

Monkey-artist

'Stop cracking and hulling his seeds. He's accustomed to working for his food.'

"Go ahead if you want to: Me, I'll wait for the bears to be sated before I risk it..."

"Touché"

Man with raked leaves on wall plaques.

"Catching him was easy. Getting him through the cat door....Now that's another story."

Save the unicorn.

Climate Change

Beginning Yarder.

'Good grief! Aren't you extinct yet?'

"Man! That squirrel was jacked!"

'You see, we don't have any children, so he's kind of our baby.'

'We're a protected species and an endangered speices, but when I see a person, I don't know if he's protecting us or endangering us.'