Lawn Warrior T-Shirts

'Bowls has given me the happiest days of my life.'

'Let him play thru, Harry.'

'Think of yourself as Moses, blazing trails in the wilderness.'

Human males marking territory.

'Normally, a little conflict like this would be easy to resolve.'

Postman wearing protective shin pads.

Believe it or not, I'm sitting her watching the fights. Harry versus the crabgrass, the moles, the insects...

"Instead of pumping iron, how about cutting grass?"

"If you need help, I'll be playing videos on my laptop."

City Zoo: Day Care

"Davina McCall: Life at the Extreme takes a celebrity to the most extreme places on Earth!"

"Think you're pretty manly, eh? OK, put the gun down and let's have a fair fight."

'In school today, we learned about endangered species.'

Cat in a tank...

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

Don't forget the hosepipe ban!

"I just assumed that the whale we adopted would stay in the ocean."

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

Neighbor Leaf Wars

Monkey-artist

'Stop cracking and hulling his seeds. He's accustomed to working for his food.'

A tortoise running along the side of the road, panting.

"Catching him was easy. Getting him through the cat door....Now that's another story."

"Go ahead if you want to: Me, I'll wait for the bears to be sated before I risk it..."

Save the unicorn.

"Touché"

'He misses his garden when he's on holiday'

Beginning Yarder.

'You see, we don't have any children, so he's kind of our baby.'

'We're a protected species and an endangered speices, but when I see a person, I don't know if he's protecting us or endangering us.'

Climate Change

"Man! That squirrel was jacked!"

'Good grief! Aren't you extinct yet?'

'Daniel! How many times have I told you not to bury that in the back yard! I'm going to be late for work!'

'Told you to get your mower fixed.'