Lawn Warriors T-Shirts

"Honest Dad, I was going to mow the lawn... But I can't find the lawnmower in here!"

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

Don't forget the hosepipe ban!

"I know this is not a proper job for a PhD, Mom, but I have student loans to repay."

Neighbor Leaf Wars

"He's declared it an area of natural beauty"

Beginning Yarder.

'He misses his garden when he's on holiday'

Test your patience, back in one hour.

'I fought the lawn and the lawn won.'

'I'd recommend the 9 tine.'

No Mow May

So those are your 'weapons of mass destruction? - Slugs?

Believe it or not, I'm sitting her watching the fights. Harry versus the crabgrass, the moles, the insects...

"In two weeks' time, Andy Murray will either have achieved a great British win or an awful Scottish defeat."

"You did order the chemical-free insecticide."

'Al's Lawn Care Service: There's no crabgrass too crabby for us!'

'So you've finally got round to mowing the garden.'

'If I've calculated correctly, I have two more birthdays before I never have to mow the lawn again.'

"We're out of bags."

Human males marking territory.

"We're going to need a bigger rake."

"I've found the lawnmower!"

'...so I said to Linda, 'I can't do yard work in the rain!''

'You know it's too hot to use the sprinkler when the spray turns to steam.'

"I can't go on. All the weeding, mowing, digging, pesticides, and gopher holes really hurts you know. It's just not worth it anymore."

"It doesn't mean you, Hickford!"

'Be sure to bring home your divots so you can patch the bare spots in our lawn.'

"Seven bookings and four sendings off, and that was just in the queue for pies."

'Honey, could you turn the water on?'

Lawn Furniture/Yawn Furniture.

No Croquet

"We can only apologise, Mr. Kent. But wouldn't you think that a superhero's uniform would be shrink-proofed?"

"The last thing I expected was to find a giant squirrel from outer space raking our leaves. Not that I'm complaining."

Desert Island in the midst of a lawn dotted with 'Keep of the Grass' signs.