Lawn Lazybones Gifts

"Should I fix it or call it a water feature?"

"You created a robot to do your homework for you? Apparently, laziness is the mother of invention."

Don't forget the hosepipe ban!

"Mine's still in bed."

'He misses his garden when he's on holiday'

Beginning Yarder.

'Told you to get your mower fixed.'

"My blood type...it's the type that doesn't like to exercise."

"You did order the chemical-free insecticide."

"This lawnmower is a real time saver. After pushing it around for an hour, I forget about all the ambitious landscaping plans I thought up over winter."

September: All the familiar signs of harvest are with us once more.

'Al's Lawn Care Service: There's no crabgrass too crabby for us!'

'So you've finally got round to mowing the garden.'

'I'm making one of the craters into a birdbath.'

Garden sprinkler in the form of a classical statue

Man mowing lawn that grows quicker then he can cut it!

'If I've calculated correctly, I have two more birthdays before I never have to mow the lawn again.'

"I hope you realize your late arrivals for work seriously upset the museum's visitors!"

Lawrence of Suburbia

'Despite her numerous advanced degrees, Dr.Bessie couldn't keep her mouth from watering.'

'...so I said to Linda, 'I can't do yard work in the rain!''

"I've found the lawnmower!"

Mr Kettleband's humour was described as unique.

Boy: 'DAD, the lawnmower's started SMOKING again!'

'You know it's too hot to use the sprinkler when the spray turns to steam.'

"I can't go on. All the weeding, mowing, digging, pesticides, and gopher holes really hurts you know. It's just not worth it anymore."

"It doesn't mean you, Hickford!"

'Be sure to bring home your divots so you can patch the bare spots in our lawn.'

'Honey, could you turn the water on?'

'I decided it was time to be more active when my wife started dusting me twice a week.'

Lawn Furniture/Yawn Furniture.

Spring cleaning.

"Lawn fish. They're hell to get rid of."

Desert Island in the midst of a lawn dotted with 'Keep of the Grass' signs.