Lawn Decoration Lover Gifts

Tacky lawn ornament hunting. (It's a HUGE sport here in the United States!)

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

Don't forget the hosepipe ban!

I want to rip out our lawn and plant a wild meadow. And I want lost of well-mown grass. What do you recommend? Nursery open. Just a sec. I'll check with my dad. No way! Tree's Tree Nursery. I'm not suggesting a marriage counselor!

"The car is in the garage, but I had to drive over the lawnmower."

'Congratulations! Our yard's been declared a national wilderness area!'

"Can you cut the grass but leave the daisies?"

A sign on the front lawn of a house reads "Keep off the chemicals".

'He misses his garden when he's on holiday'

Beginning Yarder.

'Hey, are you like me? Do you hate mowing around trees? ell, then THIS is the machine for you!'

"The gods seem angrier than usual today."

'I'm finding the greens a bit slow.'

Goddess of Fertility garden feature

"Dad, can we please just buy a week wacker?"

The Scottish Lawn

"Basically, I'm looking for a beer can holder with a mower built around it."

'I can't get my husband to water the lawn.'

'Don't forget to put gas in the car and the mower.'

Beware of the Lawn

"You did order the chemical-free insecticide."

'Al's Lawn Care Service: There's no crabgrass too crabby for us!'

'So you've finally got round to mowing the garden.'

'If I've calculated correctly, I have two more birthdays before I never have to mow the lawn again.'

'This veldt makes me worry about the condition of our yard back home.'

'I'm making one of the craters into a birdbath.'

'Fred's opinion of crab grass is if you can't beat it, join it.'

'Despite her numerous advanced degrees, Dr.Bessie couldn't keep her mouth from watering.'

'...so I said to Linda, 'I can't do yard work in the rain!''

"I've found the lawnmower!"

'The grass is always greener on the other side seed'.

"I can't go on. All the weeding, mowing, digging, pesticides, and gopher holes really hurts you know. It's just not worth it anymore."

'Be sure to bring home your divots so you can patch the bare spots in our lawn.'