Lawn Decor Devotee Gifts

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

Don't forget the hosepipe ban!

I want to rip out our lawn and plant a wild meadow. And I want lost of well-mown grass. What do you recommend? Nursery open. Just a sec. I'll check with my dad. No way! Tree's Tree Nursery. I'm not suggesting a marriage counselor!

The Fall of Gnome

Beginning Yarder.

A sign on the front lawn of a house reads "Keep off the chemicals".

'He misses his garden when he's on holiday'

"The gods seem angrier than usual today."

'I'm finding the greens a bit slow.'

'George! This way quick!'

Goddess of Fertility garden feature

'I can't get my husband to water the lawn.'

Beware of the Lawn

"Basically, I'm looking for a beer can holder with a mower built around it."

"You did order the chemical-free insecticide."

'So you've finally got round to mowing the garden.'

'Al's Lawn Care Service: There's no crabgrass too crabby for us!'

'I'm making one of the craters into a birdbath.'

"This one will go with everything,

'This veldt makes me worry about the condition of our yard back home.'

'If I've calculated correctly, I have two more birthdays before I never have to mow the lawn again.'

Flower lamp.

'Fred's opinion of crab grass is if you can't beat it, join it.'

'Despite her numerous advanced degrees, Dr.Bessie couldn't keep her mouth from watering.'

'The grass is always greener on the other side seed'.

"I've found the lawnmower!"

'...so I said to Linda, 'I can't do yard work in the rain!''

'- and this is the drawing room..'

'Be sure to bring home your divots so you can patch the bare spots in our lawn.'

'You know it's too hot to use the sprinkler when the spray turns to steam.'

Mower Repair

"It doesn't mean you, Hickford!"

Shoot, I forgot about that underground sprinkler.