Lawn Decor Critics Gifts

That a garden gnome had Pebbles in a headlock did not horrify Ms. Otis nearly as much as her neighbor's very poor taste in lawn decor.

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

'...Couldn't you just get pictures for your desk?'

Goddess of Fertility garden feature

'If I've calculated correctly, I have two more birthdays before I never have to mow the lawn again.'

Bird sees coo coo bird emerge from birdhouse

"...I love the smell of an uncut lawn."

'Honey, could you turn the water on?'

Lawn Furniture/Yawn Furniture.

Mowing the Jungle

"We've decided to express our concern for the environment by redecorating."

'The grass is plastic, too.'

"And what Patio & Garden Outlet has joined together, let no yard sale put asunder."

The Lawn Gegnome Project

"See that yard with the garden gnomes and the idiot waxing his Nissan Cube? That's your bathroom."

Redneck Lawn Art

'He's made of polly-ethelene.'

"Let's explore why you detest my throw pillows."

"Wait for it …"

"Care to come over to my front lawn?"

Looking at Cubist picture of chair,"I'd have thought he could have afforded better than MFI furniture."

"I like looking at amateur porn, because I like seeing other people's apartments."

Tacky lawn ornament hunting. (It's a HUGE sport here in the United States!)

"I remember when walls weren't so bossy."

"His grass really is greener!"

'I guess there was a typo on the job order. It was supposed to read 'mow the lawn, not plow the lawn.''

'I told you nylon carpets were a mistake.'

'Oh great. The Jones replaced their bird bath with a hot tub.'

'You might think it's your roof, but it's really my yard.'

Postman's Knock.

"The sign's superfluous. That door's locked and bolted."

No caption. (Yard in front of igloos is decorated with plastic penguins.)

"And my lawyer says we have a hell of a case against La-Z-Boy."

'Why on earth would people put plastic flamingoes on their lawns?'

No caption. (Frank is holding hose. A loop-de-loop behind his is matched by a loop-de-loop in the water coming out of the hose.)