Lawn Battle Champion T-Shirts

'I fought the lawn and the lawn won.'

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

Don't forget the hosepipe ban!

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, have'nt you?!"

"He's declared it an area of natural beauty"

Beginning Yarder.

'He misses his garden when he's on holiday'

The very noisy, but enjoyable game of Crowquet.

'Told you to get your mower fixed.'

"Must get a longer cable."

No Mow May

Believe it or not, I'm sitting her watching the fights. Harry versus the crabgrass, the moles, the insects...

"In two weeks' time, Andy Murray will either have achieved a great British win or an awful Scottish defeat."

"This lawnmower is a real time saver. After pushing it around for an hour, I forget about all the ambitious landscaping plans I thought up over winter."

"You did order the chemical-free insecticide."

September: All the familiar signs of harvest are with us once more.

'Al's Lawn Care Service: There's no crabgrass too crabby for us!'

'So you've finally got round to mowing the garden.'

Garden sprinkler in the form of a classical statue

"Prepare to meet thy blower."

Man mowing lawn that grows quicker then he can cut it!

Robotic man mowing the lawn

Human males marking territory.

Lawrence of Suburbia

"I've found the lawnmower!"

'...so I said to Linda, 'I can't do yard work in the rain!''

Boy: 'DAD, the lawnmower's started SMOKING again!'

'Be sure to bring home your divots so you can patch the bare spots in our lawn.'

"It doesn't mean you, Hickford!"

'You know it's too hot to use the sprinkler when the spray turns to steam.'

"I can't go on. All the weeding, mowing, digging, pesticides, and gopher holes really hurts you know. It's just not worth it anymore."

"But....but....isn't that a puff of cloud I see approaching?"

"Humans grow it everywhere and spend lots of time mowing it short, then, they don't even eat it..."

"Lawn fish. They're hell to get rid of."

No Croquet