Lawn Battle Champion Pillows

'I fought the lawn and the lawn won.'

Don't forget the hosepipe ban!

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, have'nt you?!"

"He's declared it an area of natural beauty"

Beginning Yarder.

'He misses his garden when he's on holiday'

The very noisy, but enjoyable game of Crowquet.

'Told you to get your mower fixed.'

"Must get a longer cable."

Believe it or not, I'm sitting her watching the fights. Harry versus the crabgrass, the moles, the insects...

No Mow May

"You did order the chemical-free insecticide."

"This lawnmower is a real time saver. After pushing it around for an hour, I forget about all the ambitious landscaping plans I thought up over winter."

September: All the familiar signs of harvest are with us once more.

"In two weeks' time, Andy Murray will either have achieved a great British win or an awful Scottish defeat."

'So you've finally got round to mowing the garden.'

'Al's Lawn Care Service: There's no crabgrass too crabby for us!'

Garden sprinkler in the form of a classical statue

Human males marking territory.

"Prepare to meet thy blower."

Man mowing lawn that grows quicker then he can cut it!

Robotic man mowing the lawn

Lawrence of Suburbia

"I've found the lawnmower!"

'...so I said to Linda, 'I can't do yard work in the rain!''

"It doesn't mean you, Hickford!"

'Be sure to bring home your divots so you can patch the bare spots in our lawn.'

Boy: 'DAD, the lawnmower's started SMOKING again!'

'You know it's too hot to use the sprinkler when the spray turns to steam.'

"I can't go on. All the weeding, mowing, digging, pesticides, and gopher holes really hurts you know. It's just not worth it anymore."

"Humans grow it everywhere and spend lots of time mowing it short, then, they don't even eat it..."

Desert Island in the midst of a lawn dotted with 'Keep of the Grass' signs.

"Lawn fish. They're hell to get rid of."

"But....but....isn't that a puff of cloud I see approaching?"

No Croquet