Lawn Defender Pillows

"This is the worst parade ever."

@#^* kids! Get out of my lawn!

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

Don't forget the hosepipe ban!

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, have'nt you?!"

Touring Cyclist

Beginning Yarder.

'He misses his garden when he's on holiday'

"Must get a longer cable."

'I fought the lawn and the lawn won.'

Believe it or not, I'm sitting her watching the fights. Harry versus the crabgrass, the moles, the insects...

Grass huggers.

"You did order the chemical-free insecticide."

'So you've finally got round to mowing the garden.'

'Al's Lawn Care Service: There's no crabgrass too crabby for us!'

Dispose of unproductive fruit trees.

'I think your son is being bullied. He's suffering 80% Chinese wrist burns.'

Human males marking territory.

Robotic man mowing the lawn

"I've found the lawnmower!"

'...so I said to Linda, 'I can't do yard work in the rain!''

"Who's a good boy?!!"

"It doesn't mean you, Hickford!"

'Be sure to bring home your divots so you can patch the bare spots in our lawn.'

'You know it's too hot to use the sprinkler when the spray turns to steam.'

"I can't go on. All the weeding, mowing, digging, pesticides, and gopher holes really hurts you know. It's just not worth it anymore."

A man imagines he looks like a farmer on a tractor on a ride-on mower and

'It's only now that we've chopped down all the trees that we can see the damage we've done.'

A misery of mole hills

No Croquet

"Humans grow it everywhere and spend lots of time mowing it short, then, they don't even eat it..."

'Well, when can I have my bike back?'

Snow machine spitting out kids toys left under the snow.

Desert Island in the midst of a lawn dotted with 'Keep of the Grass' signs.