Lawn Defender Gifts

"This is the worst parade ever."

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

Don't forget the hosepipe ban!

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, have'nt you?!"

Touring Cyclist

Beginning Yarder.

'He misses his garden when he's on holiday'

"Must get a longer cable."

'I fought the lawn and the lawn won.'

Grass huggers.

Believe it or not, I'm sitting her watching the fights. Harry versus the crabgrass, the moles, the insects...

"You did order the chemical-free insecticide."

'So you've finally got round to mowing the garden.'

'Al's Lawn Care Service: There's no crabgrass too crabby for us!'

Dispose of unproductive fruit trees.

'I think your son is being bullied. He's suffering 80% Chinese wrist burns.'

Robotic man mowing the lawn

Human males marking territory.

"I've found the lawnmower!"

'...so I said to Linda, 'I can't do yard work in the rain!''

"It doesn't mean you, Hickford!"

'Be sure to bring home your divots so you can patch the bare spots in our lawn.'

'You know it's too hot to use the sprinkler when the spray turns to steam.'

"Who's a good boy?!!"

"I can't go on. All the weeding, mowing, digging, pesticides, and gopher holes really hurts you know. It's just not worth it anymore."

A man imagines he looks like a farmer on a tractor on a ride-on mower and

'It's only now that we've chopped down all the trees that we can see the damage we've done.'

A misery of mole hills

"Humans grow it everywhere and spend lots of time mowing it short, then, they don't even eat it..."

Snow machine spitting out kids toys left under the snow.

"Honest Dad, I was going to mow the lawn... But I can't find the lawnmower in here!"

No Croquet

Desert Island in the midst of a lawn dotted with 'Keep of the Grass' signs.

'Well, when can I have my bike back?'