Lawn Detective Gifts

'I didn't have time to mow the yard, so I used your credit card to have it carpeted. I hope you like shag.'

Wildlife

"You say it all the time, so I climbed every tree to prove it. You were right, money doesn't grow on trees."

The Missing Sock Returns

Sale! Weed Whackers

"You're sure it was a Northern Bobwhite?"

"So that's where all the socks ended up!"

Unbeknownst to most, dogs are actually greedy bastards searching for gold,

"Mother! How? Wait — where’s Dad?!"

'True it does have small flowers but through the microscope its exquisite.'

'I don't know who he is...but he roto-tilled my entire yard and never even stopped to let me thank him!'

'I think they're the best crop circles you've ever done!'

"Aw, Dad! I don't wanna move. I just made friends with a fossil!"

'Its that final touch that makes it seem just like a natural pond.'

So those are your 'weapons of mass destruction? - Slugs?

Getting Rid of the Cure

"What are you in for?"

'Turn right at the Robinia pseudoacacia, pass the garden with the salvia officinalis, cross the road when you see the stranvaesia davidinia and the pub is on the left!'

"Sometimes Bob just needs a little motivation to get things done around here!"

'The good news is I just dethatched the lawn. The bad news is the lawn was nothing but thatch. . .'

The Last Days of a Hydrangea

Dispose of unproductive fruit trees.

Grass saying: mow me/feed me/weed me/roll me.

"There's a house-plant round here somewhere."

"We're out of bags."

"I #*#*#* hate gardening, I'd much rather be at work!!"

Missing sock

The Complete Cycle.

'... Because it's the law! That's why!'

"There's got to be an easier way to kill the moss in a lawn"

Rake

Where missing laundry socks go!

Mower Repair

"What you smell son is called a cigarette: A sure sign that humans are around and we should flee..."

Is Gypsie Moth in YOUR Garden? Signs to look for...