Grass Detective Gifts

That's the 'Grass of the Unexpected'.

Wildlife

"You say it all the time, so I climbed every tree to prove it. You were right, money doesn't grow on trees."

Sale! Weed Whackers

'Ok..Ok...I'm putting the lawnmower back in the shed!'

Lawnmower

"You're sure it was a Northern Bobwhite?"

Stratigraphy

'True it does have small flowers but through the microscope its exquisite.'

'I'm finding the greens a bit slow.'

"Mother! How? Wait — where’s Dad?!"

"Aw, Dad! I don't wanna move. I just made friends with a fossil!"

Getting Rid of the Cure

Beware of the Lawn

Naughty grass, go to sleep! It's pasture bed time!

So those are your 'weapons of mass destruction? - Slugs?

'Turn right at the Robinia pseudoacacia, pass the garden with the salvia officinalis, cross the road when you see the stranvaesia davidinia and the pub is on the left!'

I want to be a lawn!

The Last Days of a Hydrangea

Boy, this stuff's hard to swallow!

"This lawnmower is a real time saver. After pushing it around for an hour, I forget about all the ambitious landscaping plans I thought up over winter."

"Do you hear any bad germs?"

Man mowing lawn that grows quicker then he can cut it!

"I have my green thumb, thanks to my black 'n' blue knees!"

"There's a house-plant round here somewhere."

Which is the genetically modified corn?"

'Fred's opinion of crab grass is if you can't beat it, join it.'

'Despite her numerous advanced degrees, Dr.Bessie couldn't keep her mouth from watering.'

'Oh-oh, they're looking up at me ? I think they're on to us!'

'They must have really listened to their mothers about chewing their food.'

Ref shows footballer green card.

The Hummingbird

'Everybody's entitled to have a hobby. Mine's growing grass.'