Grass Detective T-Shirts

That's the 'Grass of the Unexpected'.

Wildlife

"You say it all the time, so I climbed every tree to prove it. You were right, money doesn't grow on trees."

Sale! Weed Whackers

'Ok..Ok...I'm putting the lawnmower back in the shed!'

Science Fair. How viruses spread.

Lawnmower

"You're sure it was a Northern Bobwhite?"

'Hey, are you like me? Do you hate mowing around trees? ell, then THIS is the machine for you!'

Stratigraphy

'I'm finding the greens a bit slow.'

"Mother! How? Wait — where’s Dad?!"

'True it does have small flowers but through the microscope its exquisite.'

So those are your 'weapons of mass destruction? - Slugs?

Getting Rid of the Cure

"Aw, Dad! I don't wanna move. I just made friends with a fossil!"

Beware of the Lawn

Naughty grass, go to sleep! It's pasture bed time!

'Turn right at the Robinia pseudoacacia, pass the garden with the salvia officinalis, cross the road when you see the stranvaesia davidinia and the pub is on the left!'

I want to be a lawn!

The Last Days of a Hydrangea

"This lawnmower is a real time saver. After pushing it around for an hour, I forget about all the ambitious landscaping plans I thought up over winter."

Boy, this stuff's hard to swallow!

Man mowing lawn that grows quicker then he can cut it!

"I have my green thumb, thanks to my black 'n' blue knees!"

"There's a house-plant round here somewhere."

"Do you hear any bad germs?"

Which is the genetically modified corn?"

'Fred's opinion of crab grass is if you can't beat it, join it.'

'Despite her numerous advanced degrees, Dr.Bessie couldn't keep her mouth from watering.'

'Oh-oh, they're looking up at me ? I think they're on to us!'

Ref shows footballer green card.

'They must have really listened to their mothers about chewing their food.'

'Put it under my microscope!'

The Hummingbird