Lawn Champion T-Shirts

"Must get a longer cable."

Robotic man mowing the lawn

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

Don't forget the hosepipe ban!

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, have'nt you?!"

'He misses his garden when he's on holiday'

A sign on the front lawn of a house reads "Keep off the chemicals".

Beginning Yarder.

'Told you to get your mower fixed.'

"The gods seem angrier than usual today."

'I fought the lawn and the lawn won.'

"Yes dear, you have worked very hard on the garden. Unfortunately though, you've put the compost on the weeds and the weed killer on my best roses."

'I'm finding the greens a bit slow.'

Jungle Games

'I can't get my husband to water the lawn.'

Believe it or not, I'm sitting her watching the fights. Harry versus the crabgrass, the moles, the insects...

"Basically, I'm looking for a beer can holder with a mower built around it."

Beware of the Lawn

"Sometimes Bob just needs a little motivation to get things done around here!"

"You did order the chemical-free insecticide."

"This lawnmower is a real time saver. After pushing it around for an hour, I forget about all the ambitious landscaping plans I thought up over winter."

September: All the familiar signs of harvest are with us once more.

'Al's Lawn Care Service: There's no crabgrass too crabby for us!'

'So you've finally got round to mowing the garden.'

Man mowing lawn that grows quicker then he can cut it!

Garden sprinkler in the form of a classical statue

'If I've calculated correctly, I have two more birthdays before I never have to mow the lawn again.'

'This veldt makes me worry about the condition of our yard back home.'

Human males marking territory.

"We're out of bags."

Lawrence of Suburbia

'Fred's opinion of crab grass is if you can't beat it, join it.'

'...so I said to Linda, 'I can't do yard work in the rain!''

"I've found the lawnmower!"

'The grass is always greener on the other side seed'.