Law School Pillows

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

Can you tell me how to sue you for flunking me out of law school?

The U.S. court of appeals today upheld that 'ruthlessness' can be considered a factor in law admissions.

She's at that ackward stage in law school between a knapsack and briefcase.

"Do you want to pretend to be a doctor and I'll pretend to be a hotshot civil litigation attorney who sues you till your ears bleed?"

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

"Well if I can't be a cowboy I'll be a lawyer for cowboys."

"If you really want independence, you should get into contract law."

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

"You're a genius, Shaw. This is an idea whose copyright has expired."

"We're suing you under equal opportunities legislation for failure to represent our rights"

I love Lawyers

'I got an alleged C on my criminal law test.'

'It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...'

Barristers

"Hey, I just figured out how to sue the school for loss of my prime childbearing years."

'Forget the DaVinci Code! I'm still trying to crack the tax code!'

"Whoa, don't ask constitutional questions you don't want to know the answers to."

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

'Tarzan interviewing for a position as a corporate lawyer.' An interviewer asks, 'When we go against the gorillas, how can we be sure that you won't forget which side you're representing?'

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten!

You don't believe I could be a supreme court justice! You're ruining my self-esteem! F.Y.I? � Whiny tirades don't look good on a supreme court justice's record. Thank you for your candid assessments. I will certainly consider their merits. Fine judicial temperament. And reject them for their shallow insensitivity! Rejection overruled.

"I don't have my law degree yet but I've got an internship down in cell block 'D'."

Truth

First you're a law student, then you're a lawyer, then you're a judge, then you're a politician, then you're a criminal.

'I think I'll become a lawyer.'

Law School teacher.

'Of course, I'm argumentative.. I'm PRE-LAW, for goodness sake!'

Planet of the Lawyers

"We make crime pay."

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'