Law School Gifts

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

The U.S. court of appeals today upheld that 'ruthlessness' can be considered a factor in law admissions.

She's at that ackward stage in law school between a knapsack and briefcase.

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

"Well if I can't be a cowboy I'll be a lawyer for cowboys."

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

"If you really want independence, you should get into contract law."

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

"You're a genius, Shaw. This is an idea whose copyright has expired."

"We're suing you under equal opportunities legislation for failure to represent our rights"

I love Lawyers

'I got an alleged C on my criminal law test.'

'Forget the DaVinci Code! I'm still trying to crack the tax code!'

"Hey, I just figured out how to sue the school for loss of my prime childbearing years."

'It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...'

Barristers

"Whoa, don't ask constitutional questions you don't want to know the answers to."

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

Truth

'I think I'll become a lawyer.'

'Tarzan interviewing for a position as a corporate lawyer.' An interviewer asks, 'When we go against the gorillas, how can we be sure that you won't forget which side you're representing?'

"I don't have my law degree yet but I've got an internship down in cell block 'D'."

First you're a law student, then you're a lawyer, then you're a judge, then you're a politician, then you're a criminal.

'Of course, I'm argumentative.. I'm PRE-LAW, for goodness sake!'

Planet of the Lawyers

"I felt I could make more of a difference within the system."

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

"We make crime pay."

Do Guns Kill?

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

Prosecution bears the burden of proof. Defense bears the burden of twisting and distorting said proof.

'I'd like to go back to law school and pay attention this time.'