Law School Student Gifts

"We're suing you under equal opportunities legislation for failure to represent our rights"

"Do you want to pretend to be a doctor and I'll pretend to be a hotshot civil litigation attorney who sues you till your ears bleed?"

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

"Well if I can't be a cowboy I'll be a lawyer for cowboys."

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

"If you really want independence, you should get into contract law."

I love Lawyers

'I got an alleged C on my criminal law test.'

'It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...'

'Forget the DaVinci Code! I'm still trying to crack the tax code!'

Barristers

"Hey, I just figured out how to sue the school for loss of my prime childbearing years."

"Whoa, don't ask constitutional questions you don't want to know the answers to."

First you're a law student, then you're a lawyer, then you're a judge, then you're a politician, then you're a criminal.

'I think I'll become a lawyer.'

Truth

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten!

"I don't have my law degree yet but I've got an internship down in cell block 'D'."

You don't believe I could be a supreme court justice! You're ruining my self-esteem! F.Y.I? � Whiny tirades don't look good on a supreme court justice's record. Thank you for your candid assessments. I will certainly consider their merits. Fine judicial temperament. And reject them for their shallow insensitivity! Rejection overruled.

Law School teacher.

'Of course, I'm argumentative.. I'm PRE-LAW, for goodness sake!'

Planet of the Lawyers

"We make crime pay."

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

Do Guns Kill?

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

'I'd like to go back to law school and pay attention this time.'

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

"So you're interested in medicine, public relations, business, contract negotiations and insurance law? Which one will you study in school?"

Robert Macaire as a Solicitor

Best System in the World

"I must protest, M'Lud. Prosecurity counsel is blantantly attempting to wheedle the truth from the accused."