Law School Admission Gifts

'I'll make a good lawyer. I know how to go for the jugular.'

The U.S. court of appeals today upheld that 'ruthlessness' can be considered a factor in law admissions.

"Do you want to pretend to be a doctor and I'll pretend to be a hotshot civil litigation attorney who sues you till your ears bleed?"

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

"Well if I can't be a cowboy I'll be a lawyer for cowboys."

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

"Yes Dad, I passed math and now I'm passing chemistry and physics."

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

"If you really want independence, you should get into contract law."

"We're suing you under equal opportunities legislation for failure to represent our rights"

I love Lawyers

'I got an alleged C on my criminal law test.'

Bribes for Jabs

"Hey, I just figured out how to sue the school for loss of my prime childbearing years."

'It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...'

'Forget the DaVinci Code! I'm still trying to crack the tax code!'

"Whoa, don't ask constitutional questions you don't want to know the answers to."

'I think I'll become a lawyer.'

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten!

"I don't have my law degree yet but I've got an internship down in cell block 'D'."

First you're a law student, then you're a lawyer, then you're a judge, then you're a politician, then you're a criminal.

You don't believe I could be a supreme court justice! You're ruining my self-esteem! F.Y.I? � Whiny tirades don't look good on a supreme court justice's record. Thank you for your candid assessments. I will certainly consider their merits. Fine judicial temperament. And reject them for their shallow insensitivity! Rejection overruled.

Truth

Law School teacher.

'Of course, I'm argumentative.. I'm PRE-LAW, for goodness sake!'

'He's got classic form, but if he doesn't improve his grades he won't get into college. He doesn't think.'

Planet of the Lawyers

Do Guns Kill?

Big Rock University. Guidance Counselor. I'd like to switch my major from hunting to gathering!

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

"We make crime pay."

'I'd like to go back to law school and pay attention this time.'