Law School Acceptance Gifts

"Yale law....where did you do your pre-hell?"

"Do you want to pretend to be a doctor and I'll pretend to be a hotshot civil litigation attorney who sues you till your ears bleed?"

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

"Well if I can't be a cowboy I'll be a lawyer for cowboys."

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

"I had all the right answers, but I had them in the wrong order."

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

"If you really want independence, you should get into contract law."

'Another football scholarship offer?'

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

"We're suing you under equal opportunities legislation for failure to represent our rights"

I love Lawyers

'I got an alleged C on my criminal law test.'

"Hey, I just figured out how to sue the school for loss of my prime childbearing years."

'Forget the DaVinci Code! I'm still trying to crack the tax code!'

My belief is if you're old enough to take texts, counter-texts, and meta-texts in Western Philosophy, you should be old enough to drink.

"You know what happens when you make good grades? They send you to another school called college."

My new laptop is nicer than your new laptop. I'm not going to get into a competition about whose new laptop is nicer. The one I replaced is nicer than the one you replaced. Stop it.

'It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...'

"Whoa, don't ask constitutional questions you don't want to know the answers to."

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten!

First you're a law student, then you're a lawyer, then you're a judge, then you're a politician, then you're a criminal.

You don't believe I could be a supreme court justice! You're ruining my self-esteem! F.Y.I? � Whiny tirades don't look good on a supreme court justice's record. Thank you for your candid assessments. I will certainly consider their merits. Fine judicial temperament. And reject them for their shallow insensitivity! Rejection overruled.

'I think I'll become a lawyer.'

Truth

"I don't have my law degree yet but I've got an internship down in cell block 'D'."

"At these tuition prices an acceptance letter is pretty much a denial."

Law School teacher.

'Of course, I'm argumentative.. I'm PRE-LAW, for goodness sake!'

Planet of the Lawyers

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

Do Guns Kill?