Law School Acceptance Celebrations Gifts

'I don't believe in pressuring my children. When the time is right, they'll arrive at the default choice and go to law school.'

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"If you really want independence, you should get into contract law."

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

"You're a genius, Shaw. This is an idea whose copyright has expired."

I love Lawyers

"We're suing you under equal opportunities legislation for failure to represent our rights"

'I got an alleged C on my criminal law test.'

Barristers

'It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...'

"Hey, I just figured out how to sue the school for loss of my prime childbearing years."

'Forget the DaVinci Code! I'm still trying to crack the tax code!'

"Whoa, don't ask constitutional questions you don't want to know the answers to."

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

'Tarzan interviewing for a position as a corporate lawyer.' An interviewer asks, 'When we go against the gorillas, how can we be sure that you won't forget which side you're representing?'

'I think I'll become a lawyer.'

"I don't have my law degree yet but I've got an internship down in cell block 'D'."

Truth

First you're a law student, then you're a lawyer, then you're a judge, then you're a politician, then you're a criminal.

'Of course, I'm argumentative.. I'm PRE-LAW, for goodness sake!'

Planet of the Lawyers

"We make crime pay."

"I felt I could make more of a difference within the system."

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

Do Guns Kill?

Prosecution bears the burden of proof. Defense bears the burden of twisting and distorting said proof.

'I'd like to go back to law school and pay attention this time.'

"So you're interested in medicine, public relations, business, contract negotiations and insurance law? Which one will you study in school?"