Law School Graduation Gifts

Closing arguments.

Law graduate sharks.

The Letter Of The Law/The Spirit Of The Law

He was good. Real good.

'Yes, I technically did give illegal orders, but I naturally expected that the integrity of my subordinates would prevent their being carried out.'

"Whoa, don't ask constitutional questions you don't want to know the answers to."

"Don't you threaten me, Felner! I have a law degree and I know how to use it."

Prosecution bears the burden of proof. Defense bears the burden of twisting and distorting said proof.

'...If you cannot afford a lawyer, the trial will go a lot faster.'

"This semester I'm taking litigation avoidance. How about you?"

'I'm too personally involved to accept a settlement? Of course not. Send their lawyer in.'

"Prosecution bears the burden of proof."/"Defense bears the burden of twisting and distorting said proof."

"They've checked the DNA and it's gingerbread."

'If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.'

Low Class Action Suit

'Forget about hunting and gathering - I'm going to be a lawyer.'

"Objection."

'Now, then -- would you prefer a speedy trial or an accurate trial.'

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, say hi to my client."

'Your Honor, he's badgering the witness!'

'Yeah? -- Well, there's a thin line between being a strict constructionist and being a stupid jerk!'

"This is a complex matter, we can't keep repeating 'Possession is nine tenths of the law' at the judge."

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

"You're a genius, Shaw. This is an idea whose copyright has expired."

Statue of a lawyer

"Your suit is without merit, but I admire the effort."

"This jury may not be swayed by any defense that relies on emotion."

'It's a new word I came up with, your Honor. I'm still working on a definition for it.'

Law school: 'Repeat after me, class 'sue 'em first, or be sued!'

'Remember - do not try to plant the seeds from these apples. They're intellectual property, and they're copyrighted.'

Law Library: Rock, Paper and Scissors.

'Touche, counselor - you're in contempt.' (judge and lawyer in courtroom)

'Don't worry...I specialize in false hope.'

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

"Please read back that last remark in a more murdery voice."