Law-loving Little One Pillows

"We've decided that it will be better for his later development if we speak to him only in legalese."

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

'Will you raise my allowance? I want to play doctor but can't afford the malpractice insurance.'

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

"We've also been given ten top employment law tips."

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

Serious Putty

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

"#notguilty."

Stop and Birch

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

Next camera crew 5 mins

"Stop billing your daughter for reading her bedtime stories!!"

Violent Crime Statistics

Intellectual Property

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

Ian McWit, Attorney at Law, Body by Joe's Gym, Mind by Harvard.

Tell me a deposition, mommy.

Lady Justice.

'You got a search warrant, sheriff?'

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

'Remember - do not try to plant the seeds from these apples. They're intellectual property, and they're copyrighted.'

Lady Justice wears a blindfold, but listens through headphones to a tape recorder on one of her scales.

'Just think of one of these as enabling legislation for the golden rule.'

'I thought he was joking. I didn't think my husband would really turn me in to the FDA!'

Arrogant junior barrister

"When I grow up I'm going to be a police officer and follow in my dad's footsteps."

"'Ignorance of the law is no excuse.' Golly! I never heard that one! Did you ever hear that one?"

"It's either this or a country run by lawyers."