Law-loving Pet Parent Pillows

"I want to leave everything to my cat."

Brian was very proud of his dog.

'I know you're worried about Tibby, Mrs. Lutz, but we simply don't allow people to stay overnight with their pets.'

Fish that snore, and the tragic lives of those who care.

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

"Satisfaction, stat!"

Spot Quiz....

Mrs Sutherland and her American Hairless Terrier.

'I'm not begging, I've just painted my claws.'

'He's great, he can even fetch the paper. Off the neighbour's step.'

Upper East Side Dog Park

Dogs Aren't/Are Just For Christmas

'You're the watchdog. Do you honestly expect us to believe you didn't see anything?'

Pampered Pets.

'All cats have 4 legs and fur. I have 4 legs and fur...It's too hard to think anymore.'

The best relationships are silent.

The Upholstery Consultant

"You stop it, now!"

Good Dog!

"We keep revisiting this leash thing... Why is it so difficult for him?"

Pets are not only good companions, they're good excuses.

My dog is an honor student at the Curtis Obedience School.

Cat Show: Most Arrogant

Stand-up comedy while you're away at work. 'What's the deal with fetching? ...And they expect you to run and go get it, so why did they throw it in the first place?' 'Ha! Ha! It's funny because it's true!'

Dog at a restaurant

"Dear God, no! Not her first edition of 'Franny and Zooey'! You've ruined us!!"

"I want everyone to leave the room, except for the cat."

"Do you have any picture books that could help a child understand tort reform?"

"It just comes naturally. I have good people skills."

Dog responding to his master doing a crossword.

'I'll call you back, we just got in a load of furniture.'

'We really should get him chipped.'

"You're positive no one will be able to tell the difference?"

Brass Band

'Really? A Great Ape? I'm a Great Dane myself...'