Law-loving Little One Gifts

"We've decided that it will be better for his later development if we speak to him only in legalese."

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

'Will you raise my allowance? I want to play doctor but can't afford the malpractice insurance.'

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

"We've also been given ten top employment law tips."

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten!

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

Serious Putty

Next camera crew 5 mins

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

"#notguilty."

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

Stop and Birch

Violent Crime Statistics

Intellectual Property

"Stop billing your daughter for reading her bedtime stories!!"

Tell me a deposition, mommy.

How a Bill Becomes a Law, 2023

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

Ian McWit, Attorney at Law, Body by Joe's Gym, Mind by Harvard.

Lady Justice.

'You got a search warrant, sheriff?'

Musuem. Galileo did an experiment by dropping cannonballs from the Tower of Pisa. I wonder what he discovered? Personal injury lawsuits!

'Remember - do not try to plant the seeds from these apples. They're intellectual property, and they're copyrighted.'

Lady Justice wears a blindfold, but listens through headphones to a tape recorder on one of her scales.

'Just think of one of these as enabling legislation for the golden rule.'

'I thought he was joking. I didn't think my husband would really turn me in to the FDA!'

Arrogant junior barrister

It Looks Like Trumpty Dumpty Got His Wall After All.

"'Ignorance of the law is no excuse.' Golly! I never heard that one! Did you ever hear that one?"