Child's First Encounter With Law Gifts

We're very disappointed. We thought the nanny had raised you better than this.

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.

"We've decided that it will be better for his later development if we speak to him only in legalese."

I love Lawyers

Barristers

"Whoa, don't ask constitutional questions you don't want to know the answers to."

Patent Attorney (invisible man)

'It was the little darling's first time sitting up at the dining table!'

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Sigh … They grow up so fast, don't they?

"Boy is he good! He's even got me convinced you're guilty!"

"What do you think is a good step goal for someone who's just started walking?"

'Every day, I'm suing better and better...'

"All this time I've been trying to get her to walk, and all it took was a phone."

'If crime doesn't pay, how come there're so many criminal lawyers?'

The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

"Before you know it they've got legs and they're swimming all over the place."

"Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to sue, and he'll eat for a lifetime."

'Hmmm...It is: innocent until proven guilty? Or is it: guilty until proven innocent?'

''Not guilty'? -- oh, in denial, are we?'

'Can Bradley come out and litigate?'

'Your Honor, my client pleads not guilty by reason of a sugar buzz.'

Counsel examining witness

Judges alarm clock: 'beep beep, all rise!'

'Must you be so judgemental?'

"I think he's outgrown the baby gate."

"Objection! 'Alleged' Murder Hornet!"

"The Second Amendment makes no mention of guns, Your Honor – my client steadfastly maintains his constitutional right to bear Arms."

'An injunction against the First Amendment? - Can we DO that?'

I know "Ignorance of the law is no excuse" applies to defendants your honor, but

The Unknown Attorney: The First To Double His Billable Rate.

'OK, OK, you've made your point. I'll admit that sometimes when I feel threatened, I snap.'

'Do you think I would even be here if my client were guilty?'