Law Interest Gifts

"Question: are we liable for dumping waste in the swamp?"

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

'The toughest things you have to deal with in this job, is feelings and lawyers.'

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

'The sole reason I haven't talked to my wife for five years, is that I was too polite to interrupt her...'

'This prediction has a margin of error of plus or minus fifteen...fifteen class-action suits brought against the company.'

Fear of news.

Lawyer to bad hair lady: 'It's difficult to establish pain and suffering based on a bad hair day.'

"The doctor is in court on Tuesdays and Wednesdays."

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

'Do you Duane, paternity suit notwithstanding, take Diane...'

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

"Does it hurt when my attorney does this?"

"There's no need for your kitty to be envious. After state and federal taxes and legal administrative fees, Chessy's share of Aunt Martha's estate came to hardly anything."

'Is that guy back again? Hey, if you find that sponge I lost, give a shout.'

'That's nothing...I've been told my wig takes fifteen years off me.'

"My wife's lawyer doesn't understand me."

"Is that legal? Can the old man force me to take a performance-enhancing drug."

Does "worldly goods" include intellectual property?

"The law is an ass...employment law, however, is an asset."

"He says: If they're smart enough to hire a top lawyer and sue us for having wet floors then they're smart enough to look where they're *%&$* going..."

'I don't think you can claim for this as a substitute car ...'

Justice

"Can you recommend something for the attorney who got me everything?"

'Yuo were wise to get a second opinion. Now we can sue both doctors.'

"I forget. If I have an adverse reaction, do I call my doctor or my lawyer?"

'In a complex court settlement, our parent company gets custody of us on the weekends.'

'Can Bradley come out and litigate?'

Keystone XL

"Thank you, Nathaniel. I think you, too, are a very scary young lawyer."

"Only three wishes, eh? Well, let's see what my lawyer has to say about that!"

'Speak of the devil, there's my attorney now.'

"Nothing is certain except death."

'Nothing cements the relationship like the chance to get it in writing.'