Judiciary Interest Gifts

'The jury will kindly remain seated until AFTER the movie credits are rolled.'

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

Truth

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

"He doesn't suffer fools gladly."

A baby in court

'Your Honor, we've decided to go with the inanity defense...'

"Are you trying to show contempt for this court."

Antonin Scalia

"Honestly, I have no idea what a 'habeas corpus' is."

"Miss Antonacci, please have a regular coffee and a cheese Danish remanded to my chambers."

'No, no. I told you to look for a precedent.'

Counsel's Opinion.

"Objections overruled...I also think the defendent looks extremly dodgy"

"In mitigation, Sunny Chemicals would like to point out that prior to contracting his skin allergy, Mr Crumb was already ugly."

Disorder in the Court!

"I don't plead."

'Our ceiling is under repair--sorry.'

"...And now show us what you said."

'It doesn't matter if my client is guilty.. the book and movie deals are pouring in!'

Supremacist Court

'I think you have figured out that, with today's overcrowded prisons, pleading insanity will put you back on the streets..."

'I might even change my views on genetics research if scientists could genetically engineer supreme court appointees!'

'My client stands before you, a jury of his whittling peers ...'

"These days, I'm mostly just legislating from the couch."

'...unfortunately for you, I only see things in black and white.'

'I'm afraid that driving the getaway car is more than just a driving offence, Mr. Jones.'

"My client pleads not guilty, by reason that everyone else is doing it."

"How was I supposed to know she was allergic?"