Judiciary Interest Gifts

'The jury will kindly remain seated until AFTER the movie credits are rolled.'

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

Truth

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten!

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

"He doesn't suffer fools gladly."

A baby in court

The Scones-Monkey Trial. I, Judge Sadie, am prepared to rule. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Intelligent design versus evolution. Borrrinnng. That is my legal finding. Appeal. Will all bipeds please rise.

'Your Honor, we've decided to go with the inanity defense...'

Antonin Scalia

"Are you trying to show contempt for this court."

"Honestly, I have no idea what a 'habeas corpus' is."

"Miss Antonacci, please have a regular coffee and a cheese Danish remanded to my chambers."

'No, no. I told you to look for a precedent.'

Counsel's Opinion.

"In mitigation, Sunny Chemicals would like to point out that prior to contracting his skin allergy, Mr Crumb was already ugly."

"Objections overruled...I also think the defendent looks extremly dodgy"

"Can you hold on a sec? I just have to condemn this guy to death real quick."

'It doesn't matter if my client is guilty.. the book and movie deals are pouring in!'

'My client stands before you, a jury of his whittling peers ...'

"Your honor, we were having so much fun being sequestered, we forgot what the defendant is charged with."

'I might even change my views on genetics research if scientists could genetically engineer supreme court appointees!'

'I think you have figured out that, with today's overcrowded prisons, pleading insanity will put you back on the streets..."

'Our ceiling is under repair--sorry.'

Supremacist Court

"I don't plead."

Disorder in the Court!

"...And now show us what you said."

"These days, I'm mostly just legislating from the couch."

'...unfortunately for you, I only see things in black and white.'

'I'm afraid that driving the getaway car is more than just a driving offence, Mr. Jones.'

"My client pleads not guilty, by reason that everyone else is doing it."