Law Interest Pillows

"Question: are we liable for dumping waste in the swamp?"

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

'The toughest things you have to deal with in this job, is feelings and lawyers.'

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

'The sole reason I haven't talked to my wife for five years, is that I was too polite to interrupt her...'

'This prediction has a margin of error of plus or minus fifteen...fifteen class-action suits brought against the company.'

Fear of news.

Lawyer to bad hair lady: 'It's difficult to establish pain and suffering based on a bad hair day.'

"The doctor is in court on Tuesdays and Wednesdays."

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

'Do you Duane, paternity suit notwithstanding, take Diane...'

"Does it hurt when my attorney does this?"

"There's no need for your kitty to be envious. After state and federal taxes and legal administrative fees, Chessy's share of Aunt Martha's estate came to hardly anything."

'Is that guy back again? Hey, if you find that sponge I lost, give a shout.'

Justice

'I don't think you can claim for this as a substitute car ...'

"My wife's lawyer doesn't understand me."

'That's nothing...I've been told my wig takes fifteen years off me.'

"The law is an ass...employment law, however, is an asset."

"He says: If they're smart enough to hire a top lawyer and sue us for having wet floors then they're smart enough to look where they're *%&$* going..."

"Is that legal? Can the old man force me to take a performance-enhancing drug."

"Can you recommend something for the attorney who got me everything?"

'Yuo were wise to get a second opinion. Now we can sue both doctors.'

'In a complex court settlement, our parent company gets custody of us on the weekends.'

Keystone XL

"Thank you, Nathaniel. I think you, too, are a very scary young lawyer."

"I forget. If I have an adverse reaction, do I call my doctor or my lawyer?"

'Can Bradley come out and litigate?'

"The legal people are terrified of litigation but I insisted that we write an apology to the client of the lack of service. . . as long as we don't sent it!"

'Speak of the devil, there's my attorney now.'

"I'm thinking of suing your cafe. I just got a $2,000 dental bill. You should be paying for it." "I'm in here every day and I always order your sugary scones and your sugar-filled lattes." "That's why I had twelve cavities!" "I'll settle out of court for a scone and a latte." "No deal."