Law Firm Jester Gifts

'One more 'howdy pardner' and you're back to being an associate.'

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"We're following Carrot Top."

Employee won't think about work outside of box

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

"The desktop skills test was a little worrying,56% couldn't manage 'Word' 75% were confused by 'Excel' and 43% wanted to know what channel 'Eastenders' was on."

"We need to change, but WHEN?"

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

'Pass it to Dewey! He's got himself into some kind of rhythm!!'

"It's confusing when everybody has a pointer."

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

'How about a game of cards?'

"You work too hard. You have stress balls!"

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

Team Experiences Cabinet: Productivity, Fun, Goal Setting!

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

'Why don't you try seeing it from your point of view?'

"Not guilty but prepared to settle out of court, your honour."

'Wait!... I don't want to take Brady out right now. He's just getting into rhythm.'

"Unless one is a humorist, Haskins. One should avoid attempts at humor."

'Stay with me now, people, because in Step C, things get a bit delicate.'

"Now this chart should clear up any confusion you have with the report."

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

"Well, if you hadn't misfiled it in the first place it wouldn't have been lost."

'WELL, that certainly was a frank discussion! Shall we proceed to the inevitable apologies, retractions and clarifications?'

'I bet you think I'm drinking tea...'

"Let me now direct your attention to the pepperoni."

Paper Profits Break Glass In Case of Emergency.

'Brains...brains...brains...'

"#notguilty."